Heartaches

2011-09-14T22:25:00.003+08:00

It's time to bid farewell. The time that everyone hates and fear. I am so scared. I tried not to think about it for the past few days. But no matter what, I still have to face this. I held in my tears. I put up on a brave front in front of everyone. But when it comes to facing her alone, I felt so useless. I was walking slowly, heavy foot steps.

I hoped the traffic lights would change slowly, her bus would never come. My friend, the one who has been my walking home partner from many years ago and the one whom I really protect like a baby.

Please protect yourself, and come back soundly. Will miss you badly. :)

Bye Yunkay! :)

2011-09-14T00:35:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep. Waiting for the sun to rise. And for yk to leave. Counting down to 1 last day. I'm worried for myself but even more for her.
She's gonna be in a unfamiliar place with strangers and strange surrounding. Yk, be careful. Make the right friends and do right things ya? Let's work hard for the next 5 months, I will see you back here in SG. Safe and sound !

Good night all. Shall continue my rantings offline.

2011-09-11T20:51:00.002+08:00

I am left with a few more days before I have to slog my guts out for the next 5 months.
My friends, those that I truly endear, whom I have been true for the past 6-13 years.
And also those whom I befriended in the recent years. These are truly important people whom I really rely on each time when I'm on the brink of breaking down. I have always said that they are ranked way below my idols, and I know these clever minds would never be that dumb to believe me. :)

We have always been together for the past few years and now, we are moving on to the next phase of life. Although we are not together, we shall be each other's motivation to carry on and succeed. To those that I won't be able to meet you face to face in the next 5 months, stay positive and hang on there. You know you have got us behind you. Do the right things!

And for the rest, we shall meet up often. Maybe its hard due to work obligations, let each other know we often think of them.
Just endure and enjoy for the next 5 months, and we shall be free. :)

Yunkay, Siyi, Weiling, Anna, Amanda

Wanshi, Silvia, Hui Jun

Charissa, Aizsa, Jane.

Grateful journal #2

2011-08-04T08:24:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I want to thank Isabelle for spending time and effort to teach me French. In times like this, you'll need your friends beside you.
Anyway, I would like to thank my friends for consoling me and siding me on that day when I told them about my project mate. ^^
I am also grateful to my project mate. You made me learn to be prepared for the real working world because of your calculating-ness.

2011-08-01T22:43:00.003+08:00

心情烂透了。从没有奢望你要对我们多好，只是要你对我们温柔点，说话可像一般父亲那样的慈祥。给予我们充足的爱与关怀。但，我发现这不是现实，都是电视剧里才有的虚拟人物。我也发现，我并不是奢望，而是在找回属于我自己简单的父爱。。。彻底被你的自私毁灭了。。。

Grateful journal #1

2011-08-01T18:38:00.002+08:00

Thank you to my mom's boss . The person who provided my mom with a job and taught her lifelong skills . Although I am unhappy with the way you handled stuffs, I am still thankful that you helped my mom.

2011-06-20T21:00:00.002+08:00

It's been long since I last posted here. Ever since my trip to Macau, I guessed. Now I am sitting on my toilet bowl, thinking of something to post. I should write down things that I wanted to say, things that I've done etc, for my family's reference. Life is short, who knows one day I might just die while sleeping ?

Anyway, to all my friends who are busy with their school work, it's the last semester already! Work hard and have an all-kill this sem!

Ps: actually I am dreading the start of my internship cuz I am so ashamed of it. :(

2010-09-09T04:48:00.002+08:00

Continue to my previous post. The next day, we were to return to Macau to meet up with aunts. We were to clear the immigration and before that we nearly got swindled which mom has went around saying that lady saved us. The story goes like this: The weather was goddamn hot and people were queuing up to go to Macau too. Then we were like carrying bags of stuffs, so this man (there's other there too) like asking people to take taxi asked us if we want to take his car to clear customs, mom was like okay cause price was reasonable and the stuffs were heavy. But while the guy went to get the car, a lady who was about to cross the road said quickly when she walked pass her in Cantonese " don't go, it's a fraud" then mom quickly rejected the guy and we went off. Mom went to ask 2 cops nearby who were patrolling, they said it would be better if we queued up cuz we might not know where the guy will bring us to. Wooah, lucky us. Thanks the lady very much! Anyway, while we were queing, this very skillful lady just cut the queue behind me, which means she blocked my mom. I was furious I shouted to my mom purposely "Mommy! Come here!" people were looking but mom just let it go. And she did try bypass me but I was using my luggage to block her way.
When we reach Macau, we went to the Venetian. The hotel was the best out of all that I had been to. The rooms are all suite types.mine was the cheapest but it came with a living room and a toilet as big as a 3 star hotel room. OMG. So nice. Anyway the casino in this hotel once again wanted to check my ic, this time my sister also. Oh i ate my portugese eggtarts , and they were so-so. Everybody are you guys jealous that I went to the bridge in the hotel where junpyo and jandi met up for the breakup? It was cool! I liked it knowing that they also had been to this same place. Crazy much. Anyway I finally shitted after constipating for 5 days. The room was so damn smelly. -.- anyway. That night we flew back to Singapore. So nothing much more to blog. But I am mire certain now that I cannot stand bloody hot weather, it cranks me up. Real bad . I start getting irritated with anyone and everyone. So next time please don't talk to me when it's hot out there. :)it's 5 now, gotta sleep.

2010-09-09T04:23:00.002+08:00

Hey. This is my overseas trip to Macau, HK and Zhuhai journal.
I spent my 3 hours on the plane revising my accounting. Once I reached Macau, I can only say Hospitality is really important . People complained about the bad service of Singapore, come and take a look here at Macau and you know what is the definition of bad service. From the moment I stepped out of the arrival hall, the guy that helped us booked a taxi had a "black" face on. We spent 20 plus dollars for about a 10 mins ride from the airport to the hotel. The staffs at the hotel were okay, but they weren't really smiling. Not really nice for a service business. Thats what i was taught in Singapore. The hotel room was okay. And there's a transparent glass pane that can be seen through into the bathroom. Next, we went to eat geese at a HK-style cafe and it was damn hard to chew. Then we
proceeded to the casino. I was "an shuanging" when the security guard wanted to check my ic. He didn't check my sister one. Haha, yeah! Then something pissed me off that i wanted to cry. I didn't know we can't take photos in the casino, and a gambler like my mom encouraged me to take photos. But while I was taking, these 2 guys who looked like bouncers came over. Said"miss, what are you doing? You can't take photos. Take away the camera.". Everyone was looking at me at the table. For someone who is so prideful, I was really embarrassed. I was so pissed at my mom. I won't have anymore interest in casino. This just spoiled everything. But I did try my luck at the blackjack table and I lost 200 hk dollars. We proceeded to another casino due to my hard-core gambler aunts. And I was quite intrigued by the section which you can gamble on virtual horse race. Nice, dad would like this. Mommy tried her luck at the slots machine, nothing fun. One thing that is damn bad about Macau, other than the bad service was the blind bling and striking signboards, and people can smoke in casinos, hotels and air-conditioned areas. Damn. I want to eat portugese egg tarts very badly. I want to go to the white colour bridge jihoo and jandi went to at the Venetian. Tomorrow I m going to Hongkong, wish everything will go well there. I think this is gonna be the worse night ever on all the holidays I have been to. Slept at 3 plus, woke up at 5 plus, slept again and wokeup at 7 plus again. Went to eat dim sum for breakfast. Food here are of strong flavours. Salty and oily. Dad won't like this. Anywy, again and again, the staff of the shop threw the paper on the table for us to takeorder. Nice. I told mom I won't return to Maxau again. In fact once I stepped out of the airport, I wanted to go home. This is the first time I felt this way. Mom said " give me free I also won't come". Macau, you should better your service. Reached Kowloon. I didn't know there's bird flu here, oh oh. Oh, the service here was way better than those at Macau except for the immigration officer. And I can't wait to get my Mango drink at hoi lauSan. Mango drink was nice but my eldest sister was like exaggerating. Then we went back to the hotel and proceeded to Shan ding. OMFG. It's not even weekend and you can imagine the whole street is like our Singapore bugis street on weekends. Then queuing up to go up Shan deng was worse. So many damn people. The wax museum wads really cool, saw lots of top stars and historic people you will never have the chance to see them in this life. But it was a pity that we didnt go into the haunted house. I slept at 3 the previous day and I was the last to wake up that morning , wanted to skip breakfast but mom scolded me. Then we went to eat dim sum again. The people are really deaf, told them we want to cancel the order but in the end it came again. Then we went to the temple to pray. There's these group of old man and few elderly women, they were forcing us to buy incense paper and joss sticks. Although they are old and we should respect them, they were like pushing their stuffs into our hands and refuse to take it back. I refused the uncle. The uncle screamed something at me and I think he told me to go and die. In the end we bought some. And you know what when we went to the temple, the guard asked us to throw the incense paper away, cause we can't use it in the temple. And we don't have to buy joss sticks, they are provided for us in the temple. After the praying session, we went shopping at San tsui po. Haha. Bought lots of stuffs. Happy! :) wee. The following 2 days were spent at zhu hai. The distance from Macau to Zhuhai was like from Singapore to Johor. I like it! Shop alot. Bought the pants I wanted to buy and ate seafood. Their seafood is damn unique. You go around choosing the one you like , and go into a restaurant to eat. Smoking in shopping centers, restaurants, shops are so common. I think I m dying of cancer. Had foot massages for 2 days and it was really cool cuz they have tv for individuals. I had my hair washed at a salon there and guess what, it only costs 2 SGD. OMG. Quite comfortable too. That night, Wendy had a sudden urge to eat KFC which is 24-hr operated, located below the hotel. We only had one card key and it had to be placed in the hotel room to light up for mom so we asked her not to sleep and open the door for us. When we came back, after 15 mins off knocking and whispering through the door, with the guard who was patroling at the time, thinking we are some burglars, it was embarrassing. My beautiful mom fell asleep. Anyway, I fell in love with the China version of meteor garden because of the female lead.

2010-09-09T04:16:00.002+08:00

Hey boys and girls! I am back on demand ! :) Just kidding!

Currently, it's 4.18am and I m lying on my bed using my iPhone to blog. It's this sudden urge to blog cuz I feel that I have left this blog abandoned. Actually, it's my body clock that's working up. I just can't get to sleep. Doubt I can get up to eat breakfast tomorrow. Anyway the next post will be about my overseas trip 2 weeks ago. Another reason for blogging not only to express what I can't express in the real world is that I might die the next moment so this will leave some memories for my family and friends. Blog, I know you feel neglected. I m sorry cuz I found a new friend, Twitter. :)
Damn, exam is next Monday and I have not started studying. :(
Nights everyone. Random blogging only.

2010-05-16T11:47:00.002+08:00

ATTENTION PLEASE!

SUJU IS BACK WITH 4TH JIB: BONAMANA!

PLEASE SUPPORT WITH MANY LOVES!

4TH JIB DAEBAK! FIGHTING! ^.^

I have already bought 2 albums.

2010-05-16T11:18:00.002+08:00

Today, I wander in my memory
I am pacing around on the end of this way
You're still holding me tightly, even though I can't see you anymore
I'm losing my way again

I am praying to the sky that I want to see you and hold you more
that I want to see you and hold you more
It can't be if it's not you
I can't be without you
It's okay if I am hurt for a day and a year like this
It's fine even if my heart is hurt
Yes, because I am just in love with you

I cannot send you away one more time
I can't live without you
It can't be if it's not you
I can't be without you
It's okay if I am sick for a day and a year like this
It's fine even if my heart's hurt
Yes, because I am just in love with you

My bruised heart
Is screaming to me to find you
Where are you ?
Can't you hear my voice ?
To me...

If I live my life again
If I am born over and over again
I can't live without you for a day
You are the one I will keep
You are the one I will love
I am... yes because I'm happy enough if I could be with you.

A post dedicated to my beloved mom

2010-05-09T03:40:00.004+08:00

I have to say these mushy words here as your daughter is kinda sick of saying all these. You are always beside me no matter times are hard or happy. You always get fed up with me for procrastinating the things you want me to do. You said you won't ever want to care about me anymore but ended up being concerned again. The look you always give me when we always quarrel. You gave me the really expensive things my other 2 sisters would never ask for. You always tried to satisfy my never ending demands even though you say you won't give a damn again. You would put me down in front of others. But when you know I'm suffering, you would back me up. You know I am always irritated with you. But you still love me. Just like what dad says, you are spoiling me much. And yes, mom, the question you have been asking me, "what would I do if you were to leave me one day?" I can answer it now, in fact, it's always in my heart, "Mom, I will die without you." But I won't let you leave before me. You just have to know that Mom, I love you very much. If I have to admit, it's hundred
times more than my father.

A post dedicated to

2010-05-09T03:40:00.001+08:00

2010-05-03T21:35:00.002+08:00

Anyway, I am starting to get use to my classes now.

SSM still continue to creep me out, I practically have the "Tuesday Blue".

Siyi's birthday was a blast. But there were some teeny-weeny bit of regrets.

Did the thing I wanted to did most for the past few months. And it came out as a regret too.

I am sad-happy that I have found KANCHIONG groupmates. Now, I am the last to finish my part of the project. AND it's just the 3RD week of school. FUCK. Nevertheless, I must study hard to reach my goal. YES, HWAITING! :)

2010-05-03T21:25:00.002+08:00

It was after going to that concert that I realised that "FAME" is something that not only can make one craves so much but also make that person loses out on many important things in life.

You gained love and admiration from people. But at the same time, you lost your privacy, your pride and your true self. You starts to pretend and put on a blank face when facing the audience, what a hypocrite. You lost your compassion and you thought you are far more superior than any other human beings. Please, you are still a human, maybe you smell better than others?

Still, I love you so dearly. Being my someone I admire isn't that easy, yes you got the looks, you got the voice, you got your body, and the way you dance just melts my heart, but I still looked up to people who will uphold social responsibility. Most importantly, YOU never touch CIGARETTES.

But after that day, you gained some demerit points. Why did your personality changes so much? Maybe my friends will think I am crazy for being so emotional over this, but it's the feeling when you treat someone as your family but turns out he's betray you. This is just too much. XJS.

2010-04-24T12:01:00.002+08:00

Okay, I had a SPLENDID 1ST WEEK of bloody school.

34 pages of Jap HW for 1ST tutorial.

Have to memorise SSM notes.

Doesn't know a single shit about Accounting.

Have to tie that stupid bun on MON and WED every SINGLE WEEK.

Now what ? What's worse is I don't have a single friend in my class.

That SSM is freaking me out. I am just praying not to be noticed by the instructors. Please I don't need to pass this subject with flying colours just let me pass without being yell at.

Got the TYPHOID jab with Siyi and Weiling. Not that painful though.

Upcoming events: Siyi's Airport Celebration. Siyi's Chalet. Kim's brothers coming to Singapore. ( I must see them! ). Mothers' Day. Mommy's Birthday. Who else ? I am broke. Please anybody having your birthday during this period, postpone them. Make it come later.

I am going to complete my Jap Hw, ciaos.

2010-04-18T15:21:00.002+08:00

It's the beginning of a NEW SCHOOL YEAR. I am a Junior already. How fast time flies... SSM, I WILL K.O YOU IN NO TIME. I will not and will never allow myself to shed a single tear during my lessons there. I will hold my dignity. Time to do my stuffs and prepare for tomorrow. Anyway, I DON'T WANNA TAKE THE JAB! :(

2010-04-13T23:31:00.003+08:00

It is going to be a busy week...

I haven't get to clear my books...

Facial not yet done...

Still have tuition for the kid...

Going Malaysia on Friday...

Many videos un-watched...

Buy my court shoes...

Do things for the APRIL BABIES...

SHIT, now then I realised I don't have enough time...

What was I doing during the whole vacation ?

AND GOD DAMNIT, I am PATHETICALLY ALONE in my BLOODY clASS.

2010-04-10T13:27:00.002+08:00

Rec 2 is similar to Quarantine. If you guys can't stand human's flesh lying around or pools of blood splurting, then don't watch it. It's all gory. But the part where only you turn off the lights then you will be able to see the demon is quite a clever technique.
My sis said she did not like it. I did not enjoy it much because of the shaky camera that the actors used to film the whole movie. I would give it 3 stars out of 5.

Anyway, Let's Go, Dream Team rocks like mad! I love Brian ! He's super duper hyper! And of course, many plus points to Junho because of his gentlemanly attitude towards the female guest. No Anchovy. :( How sad. Looking forward to next week's episode.

People, please support Cinderella Sister, Personal Taste and Oh! My Lady! :)

2010-04-09T00:36:00.002+08:00

Although I am quite persistent in my saving up of money to go Korea, and I am really saving up bit by bit okay. I am going there to study, woohoo! Can't wait. Anyway, for the year 2010, I am going to get myself a couple of things: Dickies backpack, 2-pockets pullover hoodie, laptop bag which I've said for years, high-waist pants, vintage backpack, boys in the city 3, mirotic concert.
Okay, not a couple of things I guessed. As the time goes by, it might pile up. :) spendthrift queen is back due to high demand. Oh, whatever.

2010-04-08T20:52:00.002+08:00

Watching REC 2 tomorrow with SISSY J ! =)

Yeah, cuz I have a couple of cowardy friends, so I can't really count on them.

I will come back to give a short movie review soon.

And, it's nearing the weekend. Weekend = boring work. BLEH.

CRAVING FOR BISCUITS NEVER STOP! I need to have some self-discipline.

I can sync my iPhone again. Butttt, my purchased applications are gone! Shit, all thanks to my itchy hands.

I MUST remind myself to go and have my hair dyed by next week.

2010-04-06T04:31:00.002+08:00

How I wished I had know you earlier. It doesn't help knowing you are going through so much and I couldn't help. I have missed out so much on your life. I wish I could turn back time. Rewind. Seeing your tears, laughter and tiredness now didn't help. Because I wasn't there to share it with you. And now, you just leave me out here standing alone in the cold. How cruel can you be ? No matter which one you are, the sexy angel, the charming leader, the mature micky, the charismatic dolphin or the giant baby , it doesn't matter anymore. As long as you are complete as a whole, really, it doesn't matter. Longingness will be the only feeling in my heart from now on...

2010-04-05T19:22:00.002+08:00

Couldn't believe there are still kind souls in the world. I was still blaming everyone around me in the world. Now, I FEEL LIKE A BASTARD. Ok, this kind soul. I bless you with all the love and hope you live a blissful and wonderful life! =)

2010-04-05T14:40:00.003+08:00

POST OF QUOTES

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. - Agatha Christie
Yes, everything except being alive is a grand thing.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. - Albert Einstein
How true.

Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die. - Amelia Burr
Because I have hated life, I shall have sorrow to die. - Kerry Choo

Our lives are like a candle in the wind. - Carl Sandburg
Waiting to be blown off. Then our lives will be in a total mess again. - Kerry Choo

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. - Carl Sandburg
When you peel it to the last layer, you will find that our life is nothing but onion, it sucks. - Kerry Choo

I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer. - Colette
I am just afraid of my future. To me, it feels so bleak.

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. - Dorothy Thompson
No wonder I am not living up till now.

Life is just one damned thing after another. - Elbert Hubbard
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. - Elbert Hubbard
OMG, this guy thinks the same things as me.

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference. (Oct. 1986) - Elie Wiesel

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play, and to look up at the stars. - Henry Van Dyke
IF life is that EASY, then why can't I see the stars ?

Quoted from: http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_life.html

2010-04-05T12:06:00.002+08:00

Finally back to updating...

This Year 2010 has been very unlucky for me up till now...

I can write a story of "A series of unfortunate events for CZZ".

Lost my phone, hard disk drive spoilt resulting in all my videos lost, laptop sent to have it reformat, IC lost, what's next ? Actually, I am just a blur fuck. It's really true when people say if you are going down slope, you will continue for a while. FML. I am sure it isn't going to end here anyway, I still have to brave myself through SSM. I am not that kind who's lucky enough not to get scolded even if I tried very hard to keep myself unnoticed. Teachers just seemed to like to pick on me.

Had been working for the past 2 weekends, 1 more weekend to go.

There are couple of things I have to remind myself to do. Picking up SSM uniform, buying court shoes and working pants, buying presents for my APRIL BABIES. Then, I have to go memorise the teachers' names. Dying back my hair to black. SHUCKS. I always like the colour black. But black for hair is just too plain for me.

Haven't been able to relax. Finally, but I think I am coming down with a flu~ So cool. Haha, it's been a while since I have my last flu. COOL~ You know how I like the hoarse and husky voice. =) SO sexy~

AND, I am trying my best to go on diet. Eating 1 meal a day only okay! If I still can't get to my desired weight, I will start to dig food out of my throat, to vomit.
Siyi says I am crazy. Haha, indeed.

These couple of days haven't been good. With all the unexpected news flooding to my ears, it wasn't that unexpected, but I didn't expect it to come so fast. I just hope everything will be okay soon. If not, my all-along-wish will never be fufilled. I have to ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH. Anyway, I know my BABIES are not really happy under this environment, but perservere, I know you can do it. Because I know you can.

Oh yeah, BEFORE I FORGET, Happy Belated 24th Birthday MR LEE HYUKJAE! :) My dancing machine!

And, I MUST AND WILL get to see my BABY JGS AND KJS this month! =) I just love APRIL.

It's getting colder. And I am talking too much...

2010-03-31T03:43:00.003+08:00

Things haven't been going so well for me recently I guessed...
First, I bloody allowed some annoying bastard to steal my phone.
Then my laptop got into trouble with the battery and the Internet, making me travel all the way to Jurong.
Now, I carelessly misplaced my IC, actually I dropped it. I was just praying to wake up and find it inside my wallet.
Why do people want to take my IC ? They should return to the police station right ? Its not as if they are fascinated by my face. Ohhh, puhh-please I can give you my Neo prints. But what if they used it for illegal purposes ? Damn it. I haven't tell mommy yet. Whoosh, lost 2 items in 2 months, yeah, such a blur fuck.

I guess these are all bad signs to me. Being the super superstitious human being, I can't help wonder if the Year of Tiger is really going to have me jinxed the whole year. Omen, SSM will not be better. People, don't bother to say hi when I look dazed out in school, I am just being jinxed. :(

Promise myself, I will never be defeated and cry. SSM, I will K.O you in no time, even though you despicably wants to make me put on horrendous make-up, horrible attire, and that awful old-fashioned hairstyle. Oh ya, 2 languages are definitely going to help, darning my life.
Karma, who was the one I laughed at ?

2010-03-25T03:11:00.003+08:00

Failed to fufill YK's idea of cycling and blading to burn off our fats and calories. Instead we headed over to Old Town to have our early dinner. Actually, I agreed to step out of the house mainly is due to satisfying my cravings for Old Town, I am kinda addicted to it. It's all CE's fault, brought me there during the KL trip, and I kinda missed it now. Then, we walked to PP to have some ice. Haix, fat dream to burn fat. We just spent half the day burning our pockets and adding fats. Fml. Why did I promise my cousin to slim down ?!

2010-03-23T18:51:00.002+08:00

Had class chalet yesterday evening. Met up with Aiz and Cha to go over
to meet the class. Jane bought us gifts from HK! Yeah!
We ate alot, but I definitely ate less than Aiz. Haha. Love the BBQ squid and stingray.
Shihui, your mom's chili sauce is finger-licking good.
Then, crapped with WT on SJ again, with some bloody ass insulting them. ;(
SX started this ghost-stories telling session, most of us were intrigued, but afraid
to listen. I wanted to go home but because of this I didn't, anyway I was too lazy to go home too. Aiz, Char and
Jane went home. I was left feeling awkward there initially. Watched the show which I've forgotten
the name, it was quite disgusting and lame. Then HWJ initiated this wine drinking game. Insisted
that I must share the wine with others, actually it's Vodka. I was like pissed. Cause it's not
to offend anyone but I just do not want to share, I have this perception like for
example, this girl A shares her drink with her Bf B, then when A shares with me, it's like I am drinking her Bf's saliva. -.- it's unhygienic.
But after few rounds of drinking, I have accepted the fact. If I say no, it's like spoiling the fun. Haha. But drinking so much Vodka makes me want to puke and a bit dizzy. Anyway, I left early at 6.30am, with HWJ and his wife LWF, and WSX, thanks for sending me out.
LWT is a very funny girl. She made me laugh all the way because she was so drunk. She even danced Sorry Sorry in front of other people. Funny bitch. Haha. Laughed like mad. I will tell Kyu to stop it.

2010-03-22T15:06:00.004+08:00

Okay, my close friends knew I was quite uptight about going to KL. You know the chaotic situation there, with not much of ruling. Everyone did what they want, what they like. Luckily I came back safe and sound.

1st night: ZE and SQ came to our hotel for a stayover. We went to have Japanese Food: We were all hungry but in the whole Berjaya Times Square there are only fast food restaurants, so I chose this.

Conclusion: The rice isn't those sticky, soft Japanese rice. The Takoyaki wasn't fresh. The Sushi wasn't fresh. The soup was plain salty. That's my opinion. I shan't post the signboard, they might sue me.

Oh I forgot all about lunch, Ken brought us to a mixed western-chinese restaurant, It was nice but I can't stomach the whole plate because I ate a hot-dog bun, a cup of ice-cream before going there.

2nd day was very enjoyable because we have had our brunch twice at Old Town, a popular cafe in Malaysia. It was really nice, the enriched chocolate especially. So delicious. Then, Ken came to meet us, so we decided to accompany him to Secret Recipe to have his lunch, I ordered an ice-cream dessert. TSK TSK TSK, SO SINFUL. Amitabha. Haha

2010-03-21T22:13:00.002+08:00

Finally, after months of praying and counting down, I have fufilled my wish to watch my babies LIVE performance, Super Show 2, in Malaysia, my hometown. The show was practically amazing, WOW, not really the singing or what, but it was their friendliness, their brotherly love, and their dance moves. I was even dancing below the stage, other ELFs just kept staring at me secretly, but who cares right ?

Okay, this was what happened there:
We reached at around 5.30pm, then WT went to queue for merchandises when I already know that DH's ones would already be sold out, but I just wanted to try my luck. Me and sis then went to queue to enter the rock pitt. Then WT called and said there is only Heechul's one left, Kyuhyun and Donghae ones were sold out, damnit. But frankly speaking, we didn't deserve that because we were not putting in effort like some other hard core fans where they queued for 1 day or even more.

Then, there was a slight drizzle but it did not spoil the mood. Finally, the door opened at 6pm. We rushed in, and there was this stupid rule that we aren't supposed to bring in water bottles. Damnit. This resulted all 3 of us to die of dehydration.

We booked our stands about an arm's length to the railing, so it was actually quite near the stage, but halfway through the show, I find myself to drift away from the railing, what a strong human wave. And, those people there really smells...

The show was supposed to begin at 7pm, we expected about 15 or 20 mins late, but no, it was 1 hour late. It began at 8pm, I told my sis, demerit points for them. I was pissed. It was so tiring. But in the end, all the shoutings and waiting were worthwhile.

The show began. Dong hae baby was so handsome when he rose from below the stage on my left hand side of the stage, OMG, I was looking at him only. Focusing all my attention. Then the other rose too, I can't remember any others because I only had my eyes on him. -.- That's not my intial plan, I told them I will try to take in all 10 of them. But you know, the stage is too huge, it's like all 10 of them appear at different sides of the stage, you don't know where to look at. Sometimes you need to take a few seconds to locate them. It's like the stage is not 360 degrees, but you have to turn 360 degrees yourself. Okay, enough of digressing. DH WAS/IS BLOODY GORGEOUS! And you know he is really bubbly and mischievous, together with anchovy EH. But I was actually damn pissed with him. BECAUSE, he bloody played a water gun game with some kid below the stage for like a few mins, then he stood up and smiled at the person then he walked away, and he returned again to play with him. I was so regretful for not buying the water gun when my sister told me to before the show. WT was overjoyed and a bit of pervertic when KH sprayed at her. Nvm, I got EH's one also.

First look at them, they were all fair and charming. Really, I am not like exaggerating. EH left a deep impression on me too. His new hairstyle and a little glitter on his face, like OMG, Twilight new version. Eh, ask me why I can see everything so clearly, I don't know, even with my specs, sometimes I can't see very clearly, yesterday I strained my eyes, die also must see. I didn't want to put on my glasses, it looks retarded, YK knows I hate wearing glasses, it don't make me looks nice. But I have to. I didn't bring any camera so I didn't take any pictures. But the best camera shall be my eyes and my brain shall be my memory card. =) Now, I only remember DH.

Okay, back to them looking handsome. Some of them have real good skin, like "uyubit pibu Kim Heechul" , EH and a few others, some really put on thick foundation to cover the blemishes, but you can't blame them, being artistes, you have to put make up everyday, that does not help your skin. Nevertheless, I still love them to the ultimate!

Next, macho man "Ma" Siwon, OMO, he's really Prince Charming. You can't find another perfect guy. Handsome, tall, good build, good mannered, from a good family background, cute, everything nice. There's nothing bad I can say about him. His abs, biceps, sharp nose, dimples, green colour underwear. OMG.

Then, KHC, my Sis best guy. He still have his "Beggar hairstyle", which he loves so much. The Cinderella was so into his own world, he didn't bother to sing his own part neither did he try to lip sync. -.- So, this is really "Kim Heechul style". The cold aura around him, WOW. He started collecting items and toys which fans threw onto the stage, and placed them in the middle of the stage. The best toy he got was a dancing "Po" from Teletubbies. But there was this one yellow flower he kept holding in his hands. Cute guy.

Next up, Dancing Machine, Lee Hyukjae, he lived up to his name, with the chest popping. Gosh, my favourite. AND his rapping skills, omg, I love him so much when he stood on a "rising stand", like a Prince. His dance with DH during Don't Don was amazing. Really handsome with the short hair, keep it up.

Then, our fallen angel, leader Leeteukie, my deepest impression was he cried during Shinning Star. He really have good manners when he went to shake the VIPs hands with a bow. He did a cute dance during the introduction. =) And not to forget, during his solo dance with 3 other female dancers, he giggled when he was having this intimate action with the dancer. Shy. Love him because he kept moving to our side. The people in front got to shake his hands, damn it. Heard that he's seriously ill, I think it's food poisoning, hope he gets well soon.

The Child Prodigy, Shin Dong, he's a live example of "Don't judge a book by it's cover". But I think I only have this one exception for him and nobody else. I like him because he dances really well and he's really cute.

With people pusing, squeezing, putting hands on your shoulders and you shoved it off, people blocking your views then kena tapped and reprimanded by me, I am sorry, but you guys are too much. You know some people have BO and their mouth stinks because of lack of water. You guys still blocked my view, which I have to tip toe and strained my neck. My legs were already trembling around the 3rd song. I SWEAR, I will buy tickets from the VIP seat the next time they come, at least I get to shake their hands. Damn it, I know, I have to wait till the Fourth Album. But at least they know our Country, Singapore. =) I thought they didn't know because they keep neglecting us. Fourth album = Kibum and Kangin coming back. Hope HK comes back soon.

They didn't perform GEE, my main purpose of watching this show. I was so upset. I want to see the "Bitchy" Ryewook. But they performed Chu~ instead, not bad, because I still get to see Wookie did a very sexy action, which was not something this innocent boy will do. And don't forget his sexy dance, Insomnia, But i think he overtouched that dancer. =( I was totally high. I caught a few glimpses when he stood in front of us and started looking dreamy and he smiled to us cutely.

Next up, Kyuhyun, the evil Maknae. His vocal rocks like heaven. He sang "Yuan liang wo", wow cool. Deep and sexy voice. And his dancing skills improved tremendously. Talented huh, with a good voice and knows how to dance.

Yesung, as usual, the voice from heaven. Really, and he's so cute while he introduces himself with a funny dance. From my opinion, he should interact more with his brothers and the fans, this will make people notice him more.

Sungmin's kick was the most memorable one during the introduction. Because to me, he's always cute and shy, didn't know he have this manly side. His solo proves himself to be the 4th best vocal in SJ.

Lastly, Zhoumi and Henry, Henry did a good job during his solo performance, he can be the 2nd dance machine and his violin skills, ROCKS. Zhoumi, Blue tomorrow part reminds me of the voice crack somewhere.

To HK, KB and KI, your brothers and friends are all doing so well, and I know some of you are having your own activities and some are relaxing at the moment, but come back soon, because you don't want your brothers and fans to wait. So when are you coming back ? I am giving you a deadline, when the fourth album is out, I MUST see YOU! I saw only 10, so please come back and make it a complete 13, this is to fufill my dream. Please don't let this be the last. Come back during the 4th album. OMG, I can't believe after watching tons of their videos, I am done watching their live performance. I must slap myself to come back to reality.

~Do it, do it, Chu~, It's true, true, true, true, It's you ~

2010-03-19T05:42:00.002+08:00

GOODBYE EVERYONEE. I am going to see SJ nowww. Trust me, I will grab their attention. Take care and TATAs. If I am not back by Sunday morning, then you all know what the problem is. CIAOS!

2010-03-15T23:18:00.002+08:00

4 more days and SJ here I come ! :)

Days are boring at home. I m like rotting. Sleeping, watching TV, harassing Chelsea and eating. -.-
Damn, I think I will decompose faster than anybody else. Eat too much of unhealthy stuffs.

Recently, I am in love with the show "Shinning inheritance" also known as "brilliant legacy"! Really nice man!
I highly recommend this to people who love heart-wrenching drama series. I like the guy called Bae Soo Bin aka Junsei inside the show. I won't tell you the plot is a long story but go and watch it seriously. The autistic boy is so pro!

Ok anyway, I know what you all will say. But friends don't send me off, it's too embarrassing. Haha. Ok, I am just hallucinating.

2010-03-12T16:46:00.002+08:00

Fugly YK wants me to praise her for being consistent in her GPA. =) Here you go.

3 Claps to LimSY, for breaking the record and scoring 3.71! WooHoo!

And applauses to everybody else who are consistent and made improvements. =)

Especially to KWL.

It's okay, just relax and wait for the next ordeal to come. =)

2010-03-12T15:54:00.002+08:00

Everyone, I expect all to have already get their results. No matter it's good or bad, you're happy or sad, it's already all in the past, now we can all relax a little bit and spend our couple of weeks left wisely. CAUSE... we will all be given holy hell in the next sem. BLOODY ASS.

2010-03-11T01:14:00.003+08:00

Chalet with my 1H04 clique. KH went off early, about an hour after
I arrived. Everyone was there. But things didn't work out well, for me
I guessed. Hope I didn't spoil the innocents' mood.

Although it is said to be clear now, I still feel the awkwardness. However, I had already clarify the doubts and I am
sincerely sorry for any misunderstandings. Seriously, I didn't expect myself to deal with this so calmly, not my usual style of management.

But I have to say, frankly, I am quite affected by the post. Now then I realized how "heavy" tone someone can use when they are angry. Wondered how many people had already died under me when I spoke things out of anger. :(

Love cam-whoring with J, S and YT. Took some photos which are bit err, obscene. Love talking to J until 5 in the morning, with S listening quietly and YT falling asleep all of a sudden.

Yeah, how time passed so fast. I have to start all over again. Again and again.

All of my posts are purely my own reflections.

2010-03-07T02:49:00.003+08:00

Family isn't much of a problem lately. Been getting along fine with Gran. Fine with my sisters. Just that J just came back from TW, and me n W are back to our usual complaints of the stuffs J bought for us. But I am still thankful to her man. Bought some SJ stuffs for me. :) speaking of SJ just makes me feel so real good. They are mine!

With mom, it's back to normal. Like I am back to being her baby. Complaining to her that her 2 elder daughters were telling me ghost stories which makes me don't dare to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth, so I asked her to acc me there. She gave me the face and said "bu Yao shen jing la". -.- fine.

With dad, I no longer complain about him. It's fine like that I guess. Everyone feels better like this. He continues his scolding with me, his frownings. I am taking them in like trashcan. But spitting them out when I am full with his rubbish. Actually, it's most of the time. He didn't pick on me that often, just a couple of times when I tried to possess the whole TV. And when I was screaming when SJ was on TV, mom didn't like it either. She feels that I m going overboard. A little crazy. She even stopped Semy to wake me up at 8.50am the next morning just because I said I want to watch TV. -.- am I going overboard with TVs lately?

Anyway, mom and dad are getting along real well too ! In this case, anything is alright with me when i see my mom and dad on good terms. :) everyone pray for me for the clear blue sky and hope the storm don't come any sooner. Oh yes, don't get too hot, cause it will increase peoples' temper too.

2010-03-07T02:25:00.004+08:00

It was until a very late part of my life that I come to realize the importance of friends. I used to think that even if I don't have Friends, i am fine with it, I still can live well as long as I have my family with me who will always be there to fend off my troubles. So I took my friends for granted.

Lately, I had come to know that I don't have many friends. I used to imitate my sister " I don't see the need for quantity but the quality" but, the problem is, I don't see the quality anywhere. Hey, I am not getting emo again. I do have a few quality friends. Just that I didn't cherish them well. I don't blame anyone but I do realise that relationships are fragile and can wear off easily. My friends and I used to say we will stay strong very long. I thought we have the same mind, same thinking, they called it telepathy. That is, even though we don't meet up, after a long time, we still know what each other wants. But as time passed, we don't even look straight into each other eyes anymore.

In the past, we enjoyed the silence while we were together. But now, the silence is unbearable, because we have nothing else to talk about. It's my fault because I cooped myself up the whole day. I really hate going out. Even starting a conversation takes me so much effort. It's really my fault that I am turning an introvert. In fact, I think I have a split personality. But I do call my friends out so we still catch up and keep our relationship intact. I made an effort too. Just that I didn't do enough.

Yeah, so back to the point, I found out that I do not have much friends to rely on and so unfortunately I m someone who likes to be alone but hates to accept the fact that I don't have friends. It gets worse when I need to find someone to accompany me, and out of the phone numbers I have, I can't find any. I hate myself for having to make new friends because I m afraid of being alienated. In my Jap CDS class, I felt that I betrayed the girl who truly treated me as her friend. Sorry, I am just a coward. Friends, please assure me please. I'm feeling insecure.

2010-03-05T15:09:00.002+08:00

You are the black little furry creature that never fails to brighten up my day...

You are the naughty little animal that never fails to distract me from my work even if I am on a tight schedule...

You are the attention-seeker who always make innocent sounds and tries to stand on your feet by leaning on my legs, like a little baby wanting their parents to hug...

You are my dear baby whom I have gave my heart and soul to and I am
truely grateful to you for knowing when I am upset and also deeply sorry for ignoring you when I am watching my SJ programs.

You are now the revengeful kid when I called to you to come over, you try to escape from my clutches... Damn it Chelsea. -.-

2010-03-04T12:34:00.001+08:00

Sent out many resumes. Nobody reply. Bored. I don't want to spend my holidays like this. So bored

2010-03-01T15:27:00.003+08:00

New year has passed...

February is gone...

Happy days are over...

Storm is coming...

Stress and complexity...

I hate to fall asleep in the night...

Just as I hate to wake up in the morning...

The only reason I am still breathing...

Because I still haven't fufill my wish...

Broken promises.

2010-02-28T02:49:00.004+08:00

Don't make empty promises when you can't fufil it. Although promises are meant to be broken, you shouldn't break the heart that put so much trust in you. Make promises only when you have 100% confidence you won't break the person's heart.

2010-02-28T02:31:00.003+08:00

It's 2.35 a.m. In the morning. Sitting in the living room alone after watching couple of Korean programs. Kinda feeling drowsy now, but I am fighting to keep myself awake. Yeah, later it will be a reunion for us, all BV students at TP would be meeting up except for the pigeon Amanda Neo, pretty upset.

My stomach hasn't been feeling really good these few days. It's like something is churning inside. I wish I could shit right now.

Went job searching with Aizsa and Charissa the day before at Tamp and I don't think
it's gonna be a successful hunt. Then went parkway with Siyi to job hunt, I don't see any chances of success too.

Titanic was on TV couple hours ago. I m a big fan of tv programs and went it comes to TV I am very dominating about it. So it was 9pm, and I switched the channel to CH U for the Jerry Yan and Ella's latest drama. I wanted to watch it peacefully but that guy was busy buzzing beside me, pestering me to switch the channel back. I insisted and focused on my show. All of a sudden, that channel switched! I turned and saw him holding my remote without asking for permission. This has sparked off my anger. I hate people interrupting me. I looked at him
and requested in a harsh way for him to switch back. He laughed? Omg he laughed! I was so angry, I stood up and walked into my parents' room, just in case I flare up. I didn't give face to my gran, she was sitting there quietly. Everyone knows I was angry, it was obvious and domineering person like me would not rest the case. My cousin told me in the room that she knew i would walk off.

Bloody arse, you are just a guest in my family. What's wrong with your hand ? can't you just keep your hands off my remote? It's like you are a kid fighting for the TV. You ard like 50 years old and you are doing such silly things? Mom
said we should respect the guest, sorry mom, I only understand how to respect my own rights.

I am goIng to chop off your hands.

2010-02-24T20:43:00.001+08:00

PEOPLE, LET'S GO PARTY! =)

2010-02-24T15:21:00.002+08:00

Exams is finally overrrr.... Feeling tired but at least I am still alive.

Yeah, job-hunting soon uh... Just jio me to hunt with you. Anyone.

Heading down with my 1H04 Clique to Sentosa tomorrow! Let's go sun basking tomorrow!

THROW AWAY THE SORROWS.

2010-02-23T15:24:00.001+08:00

Will start studying at 5, I hope so. Procrastinate somemore lah.

Off to SJDBSK Dreamland, NIGHTS.

Go away Micro.

2010-02-22T17:10:00.003+08:00

나는 지금 도주하고 싶다...

나는 바보입니다...

미친 당신은 이다?

2010-02-22T16:45:00.003+08:00

I did not dare to get out of bed this damn morning.
Cause I know I will be outside defending my mother and arguing with my grandma.
This is the last thing mom wants me to do, to stop throwing her face.
But hearing how gran kept insisting that my mom is at fault, her son has no faults and making up excuses for him like "he's very busy" make me want to puke. Wow, what a tight schedule you have.

I could hear mom's anger and her voice almost cracking. But tell you the truth, not because I m afraid to quarrel with gran, this is peanuts to me. But I was afraid to see mom's face. Gran, you are insanely biased. Don't you found that your children have huge problems with their personalities to the ultimate?

Dad, I m already on the verge of depression. Please stop your fucking nonsense saying this is not your house. Not only do I no longer treat you as my father, but I detests you for being my father. You better not hurt my mom again. Fucking understand ? Love her, giver her your concerns and give her happiness. As long as you are able to do that, by all means hate us, or hate me, I don't give a damn. At least I m sharp-tongued enough to withstand your fucking sarcasm, criticisms and your cold hearted love. Oh come on, is having a son really what you want ? 3 beautiful and clever daughters are not enough for you? If mom gave birth to a son, it will turn out like you, maybe even more violent. Anyway, you won't watch the son grow up, cause I would strangle him to death or by all means torture him. I am nuts and so are everyone in this family.

Last resort: Mom, I m not a kid anymore. I won't object again. Just get a lawyer and sign the fucking papers.

Yeah, diary and friends, I m living in a dysfunctional family.

为什么我会有这样的父亲？这样的家人? Is this still home ?

2010-02-21T12:20:00.002+08:00

I don't know why I have so much time? I can even blog right now.
My sisters are out shopping, while me and my Chelsea are staying home.
Chelsea is hundred times better, she's just lying on my aunt's bed. Lazy doggy
and her usual routine.

Actually, I m behind schedule. I should have finish OB by Friday. But now, I
have only finished group dynamics. And this is my first chapter only. -.- gg for zz.

Tmd with functional and dysfunctional conflict.

2010-02-20T02:02:00.002+08:00

To my grandmother,

I am your youngest paternal granddaughter, the rudest and wildest one. Yes, that's right, it's me.
I am sure you are nodding your head madly now, if you are reading this.

Grandpa left you a few years ago, I knew you are lonely.
Back at that time, the person I find irritating was grandpa, cause I didn't realize he had senile dementia, I think they called it this.
I insisted that he was purposely making things difficult. After he left us, millions of waves if regret overwhelmed me.

Now, it's you. Really annoying me. I don't want this go end up in regret again. But, but, but, I
can't force myself to like you. I mean, yeah, you were kind at times. You did things for us. But you know we would like to do them ourselves,
Doing things for us make you sound more useful right? I know.

But gran, don't you find yourself being picky and irritable easily. Maybe it's that environment you grew up in. The one that is getting into trouble is my maid.
Your loud voice scared the spirits away. Your remarkabe memory of things people have said is a WOW, your deadly stare and the worst part , your sarcasm, it's power. Now you are stepping over to my territory.
Your granddaughter here is not one useless soul. You ate always saying things in front of everyone to embarrass me. So , what's wrong with me arguing. I m absolutely right. I can be a lawyer I know. But now, I am losjng out in this shitty game because you are my gran, and because of you, mom said she's heartbroken, and she don't know how to deal with me. Why ate you even fuckng messing with my life?

2010-02-18T12:39:00.003+08:00

"Thanks for everything. And thanks you're here. I'll be there just like how you were here. I'll be there for you. "
Listening to my MP4 and studying MICRO chapter 6 now. I will chiong all by today. Start OB by tomorrow, nothing else please don't cause any disturbance. And anyone want to watch the dance-play called "break-out"? Damn nice one, only 37 bucks and M1 customers have 10% discount. If interested, please contact me. :)

2010-02-13T23:10:00.005+08:00

40 MINS MORE TO CHINESE NEW YEAR! =) Shou sui uh!

I am so gonna be fat.

2010-02-12T19:50:00.002+08:00

Slacking with Aizsa and Charissa at Starbucks, PP. Jane went off early for her "buff fei". Chatting with Jane is literally fun. Err, anyway i failed wantjng to study today . I don't think charissa and Aizsa managed to study lor, just pretending. Ok, actually I was the one that didn't study. Starbucks chocolate cream chip us a killer. Killing my stomach now. Hanging out with Siyi n Amanda tomorrow. Yeah. Miss them man. Of course Anna and fugly yk. :) happy Chinese new year!

2010-02-11T12:02:00.002+08:00

Yooooohoooooo. Princess had just finished her GEOG TEST. Suck. Got 40 only.

Anyway, FRIENDS AND MY HONEYS, WE ARE OFF TO ENJOY CNY HOLIDAYS! =)

Err, I would be too lazy to update my blog, so please look to the twiiter sidebar for updates.

ENJOY MAN! =)

2010-02-08T22:26:00.004+08:00

TOP JOB INTERVIEW TIPS:

1) Tell me more about yourself.
Ans: I love flirting with my boss, especially those that have a family.

2) What are you passionate about?
Ans: I am passionate about smooching in the toilet.

3) Why did you leave your last job?

Ans: Cause my boss was a MORON!

TOP FHM TIPS. BE SEXY. =)

2010-02-07T01:51:00.003+08:00

DEAR DIARY,

I am feeling sleepy now but I have a good news to share with you.

MOMMY AND I HAVE COME TO GOOD TERMS! =)

OH, HAPPY BELATED BDAY TO KYUHYUN AND HAPPY BDAY IN ADVANCED TO HANKYUNG BABY! =D

Ok, diary, I am off to doing some sit-ups before I am entering my dreamland. TATAS.

2010-02-06T17:01:00.002+08:00

BCS is a goner.
CS I still can manage.
The whole process at facial was a disaster.
I have my nails painted in French style and toenails in dark blue. This costs $30 at Beauty Century.

OKAY, I am still left with CS role play and French Role play and GEOG test.

And FOR MY INFORMATION, mommy is still not talking to me for the 9th day. Thank you very much. -.-

2010-01-31T18:29:00.002+08:00

Dear Diary,

I didn't value you until recently, I realized that you have become my personal support, the only way to vent my angers and show my true emotions. Thank you for being here for me although you are quite faulty at times.

You seem to be the only one who listens to me. Actually, I don't know what I want. When I want to find someone to talk to, I realized that I do not want them to talk. But when they kept silence, I'll feel that they are patronizing me. At least, you will tell me that my posts are published. -.-

HAHA, I am being cranky. After doing all the tough tasks, I am left with studying for BCS AND CS2 currently, however, I kept procrastinating. Anyway, assignments are never-ending, so what's the hurry ?

To friends who I have hurt and neglected recently, I am sorry about that.
To friends who are always there when I am feeling down and understand what I am going through, thank you.
To friends who know that the silence moments are very important to me and tried their best not to break it, a big thank you.

Yeah, it's being kinda tough for me recently. Don't know why. Maybe my hormones are screwed up. LOL

To my family, who's always there to put me down, thank you.
To my family, who never understand a single shit about me, thank you.
To my family, who always accused me for not being serious, thank you.
To my family, who's always wanted me to be outta their lives, I am sorry, time is not riped yet.

The only motivation for me now is to watch SS2 in Malaysia. After that, I think I will collapse.

2010-01-29T23:13:00.002+08:00

I am all to blame. Being too competent, overly-efficient will cause a big trouble. Cause I don't trust anybody else to do the job better. Next time, I am going to be the free rider. Yes, I am sincere on being a free rider.

And Mom doesn't even understand what her daughter is going through. I just came home at 10 plus then continue doing my Jap script editing for all those bloody suckers. Then, tomorrow morning have to wake up at 8 plus again to go have rehearsal with those bloody suckers. Then contiue doing my BCS and finally my own revision.

And what did Mom say about all these bullshit? Nothing, or MAYBE SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW A SINGLE SHIT.

All you know is to scold me and accused me of fooling around outside. WTF?!
If today, any of the 2 babies of you were to be in my place, you would call and say "Why so late come back? Eat already not?..." This is called BIASNESS. FML.

2010-01-28T21:17:00.002+08:00

Oh so does it mean we can kick you out of the house anytime ?

What does it mean when you say this is not your home and you aren't obligated to pay for the house mortgage ? WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

You ruined the image once again, I was beginning to feel good about you, now you will have to build from scratch again.

And yes, I am just asking money from you. That's all you need to do. I don't care if there's no love from you.

2010-01-28T21:16:00.002+08:00

I have a friend who admits she is fugly. Yes fugly cute. =)

Yes, give yk a round of applause!

2010-01-27T18:08:00.002+08:00

I must work hard to prove Mommy and Daddy I can go KL because I have the rights to. So good results here I come! =)

2010-01-27T18:08:00.001+08:00

Why did I dream of that weird dream ? It's bit funny, I guess.

2010-01-27T18:07:00.003+08:00

Time is running out. Projects and assignments are like tsunami whoosing straight onto my face. Submerging me. Neither I can see nor breathe. It's excruciating.

2010-01-26T00:39:00.002+08:00

Dear my Beloved Mommy and Daddy,

I have confessions to make. Recently, I have been spending tons and tons of your money as well as my own. As much as I want this money-grubbing thing to end, unfortunately, things are not going in my way. More are to come.

1) $750 to Sabah. I swear I didn't know you have to pay cash first. yeah like Christopher said "Cold hard Cash". But I promised Govt will reimburse us.

2) The SSM compulsory items. It costs like $70. I have no choice over this. As much as you don't want to pay for me, I didn't want too.

3) The data charges I used for my iPhone. It shot up to 80 plus MB. Damn it. Stupid GPRS.

4) My Super Junior Concert in March. I supposed Daddy you cannot escape my clutches for this. Haha. As much as I wanted to pay this myself, I don't have the financial power to afford this.
Hey, I am kind enough to pay for the tickets. Just pay for my flight ticket and hotel one.

Daddy & Mommy, I promise and swear to be your good girl. I will try to not spend more money.
I will try not to throw tantrums. I will try to kick the habit of arguing back. -.-

And I will try to last the following 4 years with my iPhone, I really do HOPE so.

2010-01-25T21:52:00.003+08:00

I was upset cause I care. I don't want others to replace me in your heart. It just hurt a little when you put your friend on top of me.

Please don't misunderstand. You know I loveeeee youuuu. Yes you, I know you will look here. =)

2010-01-24T12:32:00.002+08:00

Choo Zi Zing, PLEASE STOP YOUR MOUTH FROM SNACKING!

I am going to start hating all food. Anyone see me in any of the canteens in school buying food, please stop me!

I am going to slim down, successfully, this time! =)

2010-01-23T14:17:00.005+08:00

If you are sympathetic enough, please do note that I am and will be busy for this period.

Assignments and tests are all coming up:

1) Jap listening test & role play

2) French Cultural Quiz 2 & role play

3) Geog sales kit project

4) BCS web design and presentation, End-sem test

5) Micro project and presentation

6) Comm Skills Mock test, Summative test, Interview role play

7) Micro and OB end-sem tests

Laugh all you want, I know many of you are laughing at my pathetic list of tasks to do. =.=

So be considerate, and don't disturb me.

2010-01-23T01:00:00.002+08:00

Da lang, da lang, da lang...

Watching " Hai Pai Tian Xin" now. Bao Zhu jie is leaving Da Lang. So sad. And I just realised that Show Luo acted well in his role for Lin Da Lang, pretty cute and innocent.

Can't wait for tomorrow's show at 9PM on Channel U, "Jiu Xiang Lai Zhe Ni" by ELLA and Jerry Yan. =)

2010-01-23T00:54:00.002+08:00

I am left with some private stuffs and a pair of shorts and my CNY clothes' collection is completed!

I am going Malaysia for Geog Trip. And I am damn upset .

Anyway, great job guys for CS Role play. =)

2010-01-19T13:15:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH LIEN! =)

Super Junior Is mine!

2010-01-18T21:28:00.002+08:00

YES! I GOT IT. =)

"Now then I realised, the thing I hated most is when you tell me I am your true friend." Quote from Autumn's Concerto. I think it is very meaningful.

Now tons and tons of assignments. It's time to buck up everybody! Then we will have a clean break with the 1st year. AJA AJA FIGHTING! ;)

2010-01-17T13:40:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STRONG MAN! KIM YOUNGWOON, KANG-IN!

Keep the spirits up! It's only 8 million won better than sentencing to JAIL! =)

FIGHTING, RACOON! =)

2010-01-16T23:46:00.005+08:00

Yeah, i bought the iPhone. But I wasn't that happy that I thought I would be. Arguing with Mom at the M1 store was embarrassing. Actual plan : She would pay $368 for me and I would pay the remaining $300. Good deal ? Maybe. It was so upsetting. She still thinks that I purposely lose my phone. In the end, she told me she would pay for everything but I have to stop saying that the I bought the PSP, which means I must give the PSP to her, anyway, it's unofficially hers already. I didn't touch it for a few months, clearly defining it would be, I didn't have the chance to bring it with me for one whole day for the last 1 year.

Mom, if I was that clever and cunning, why would I be so stupid to not take out the memory card and SIM card which are making me so grief-stricken now. You told me that was just something you said cause you were angry. You said you were angry cause you have to waste money to buy me another phone. You told me I should know you ? Do you understand me ? Am I that little in your heart ?

Now, I shall resist all the temptations to follow the fad. Everyone, Please stop me when you see me splurging. The last thing I will splurge on will be flying over to Malaysia. Nobody shall stop this.

And you, why are complaining so much ? JUST STFU. Yes I am talking about YOU.

PS: INCONVENIENCE WAS CAUSED TO YUNKAY. SORRY BABE.

Thank You, you

2010-01-15T23:29:00.001+08:00

Just wanna thank lien wanting for making my blog so much neater although she still cannot stand it's black background and whatnot.

^^

2010-01-14T23:00:00.002+08:00

fucking guy, don't let me catch you. KNS. FUCK YOU FOR STEALING MY PHONE. AT LEAST RETURN ME MY MEMORY CARD RIGHT. FUCK. YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL NOW ? I CAN'T EVEN BREATHE PROPERLY. DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU CAUSE I WILL TEAR OFF YOUR DICK. BLOODY ASSHOLE.

thanks to yk,sy,manda,and justin.

2010-01-11T22:54:00.000+08:00

Today, I just found out she deserved to be molested. -.- Damn it!

2010-01-10T17:32:00.005+08:00

The first few words I managed to learn :
PROUDIE OF MYSELF :)
Learning to write my Husbands' names is more of a satisfaction than learning to write my own . - .-

What comes in, will get out. =)

2010-01-09T19:26:00.002+08:00

Friday was a busy day. Went around for the making of my New IC.

Hey ppl, it's OFFICIAL: My name is Choo Zi Zing Kerry!
ALL THANKS TO MR FONG AND HIS UGLY DAUGHTER. =) LOVE YOU!

Anyway, something happened to dad. It seemed dumb to me.

He was on his boat which was parked at Changi Jetty. And at 5 plus in the evening, he saw a straw hat floating beside his boat. He didn't notice anything amiss until 7 plus when a Malay guy who patronize the area came over to tell him that it's a corpse over there. BUT my dad, plain innocent, couldn't believe it. They both went over and confirmed it then called the police.

Err, I still don't know where the corpse came from. But I think it's a bit funny for not noticing it for 2 hours plus.

Anyway, GOD BLESS THE CORPSE.

When brainless Singapore guys put too much crap in their mouths...

2010-01-06T21:39:00.006+08:00

OHMYGOD!

Now, my opinion of Singapore guys being ugly and disgusting is being confirmed!
Okay, let me correct myself in case, this sentence invites trouble. MOST Singaporean guys.

OK, this is what happened:

At the Sentosa Countdown Party at Siloso Beach, a bikini-clad dancer was invited to dance in front of everyone. 4 INDIAN guys went to grope her openly. I think there are only animals and spirits on the beach right ? NOT EVEN ONE BLOODY PERSON WENT UP TO STOP THEM!

What makes me want to puke is, when a interviewer went around interviewing guys on the streets regarding this matter, most of the guys replied in this manner:
"She deserved it." , "She should know what, it is normal there", "She chose to be there", "Maybe she's a wild girl?" and this is the one that "humoured" me the most "She should sort of run away, she shouldn't stand there."

Hello, 4 guys ? 1 girl ? You tell me how to run ? Maybe next time 4 women grope you (Hopefully not, it's gonna dirty their hands), then when the interviewer interview me, I will answer in the same way. Come on, you are a guy, even in this kind of situation you might not get to escape from 4 women.

She's there to celebrate with everyone the happy occasion. What makes you guys think she deserved all this bullshit ? I bet when her family and her saw these comments, they will be heartbroken. Maybe she will even turn lesbian; lost hope in the guys.

IF IT WAS YOUR GF OR YOUR SIS UP THERE, COME ON, WILL YOU STILL SAY SHE DESERVES IT ? NOW GUYS, give yourself 10 tight slaps for insulting the girl.

PS: Thumbs up for the guy that were interviewed, he said " I think it is sick, disgusting to do this in public."
But i would like to add on, even if it is in private places, PLEASE DON'T DO IT.

2010-01-04T20:15:00.001+08:00

Why do I have to meet you ?
Why do I have to know you ?
I'll return you what you gave to me.
Don't call me evil woman
You are not forgiven.
I lost hope in marriage.

2010-01-03T22:27:00.003+08:00

Always giving us the annoyed face.
Always telling us you can't be bothered.
But why, when I complained to Mommy about the itchiness on my arm, I saw that interest on your face.
Out of nowhere, you blurted "What? Cause your skin not good lah."
But I knew, this is because you care.

Today, you came back, I was enjoying my strawberries with sugar.
You said "Nah, the tube of medicine is for stopping the itch."
God, I was speechless/touched. But I turned back and continued watching my TV.
In the past, I would be like "OH PAPA, THANK YOU."
Now, it just seems awkward for me to even address you.
But, at least, I know, deep in your heart, you still care.

What's wrong ? I am dying of itchiness.

2010-01-03T18:09:00.000+08:00

Skin disease...

Disbandment...

Disagreement...

Unhappy dinner...

Unfinished homework...

Why?

2010-01-02T21:35:00.002+08:00

Call heaven to witness... the separation...

Why do you have to disband? Disappointment.

2010-01-01T23:46:00.002+08:00

Sorry for having to spend the New Year Eve celebration yesterday by searching for a proper restaurant to eat. Haha. Siyi, a new friend, Zul and me went from Somerset back to Raffles City, then walked to Marina Square. And back to Raffles City. In the end, the final decision was to go to Bugis. -.- Last stop, back to Bedok. Haha. Guys, It's a unforgettable celebration right?

Anyway, I saw a hunk. I cannot forget how he look. =)

It's minutes before it's 2nd of January. So...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MINNIE OPPA AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2009-12-31T00:20:00.002+08:00

2010 New Year's resolutions:

1) Cut down at least 5 KG.

2) Save up at least 1K for overseas trip.

3) Stop blogshopping like a shopaholic.

4) NO NO to snacks!

5) Get that $800 scholarship.

6) Get a camera.

7) A Dickies bag, a brown vintage handbag and a laptop bag.

8) MUST SEE my Laogongs =)
( PS: 1 down, 30 more to go)

2009-12-31T00:04:00.004+08:00

Look at the a little sore middle finger of mine. I was in a rush for school today, so I recklessly used my middle knuckle to press the lift button. Then it became like that. Damn it.

Some old photos are queuing up for uploading process:

Took at a nearly-emptied Vivo.

Stood outside a shop of dummies.

My eyes are almost invincible, I know. -.-

I like this. Look like a pup. =p

People who can't stand this, Pls leave right now.
No negative comments. You know who you are, FYK.

And A Happy Birthday TO GAY PARTNER! =)

2009-12-29T21:22:00.001+08:00

Getting poorer.
I hope you don't earn as much. Is "Dad" just a name ?
It doesn't have any significance anymore.
Call heaven to witness... tragedy...

2009-12-29T01:23:00.006+08:00

最熟悉的陌生人
亲爱的父亲：

怎么突然发现你的背影老了。那是岁月的痕迹吗？

但是，怎么我那么不想你赚多点钱？我不想你为了工作养家，赔上了和家人在一起的时间。你说我们无法理解，是的，我不能谅解。因为，你从没给我们听你解释的机会。

告诉我，上一次和我们吃早餐是什么时候？上一次问我们功课怎样了是什么时候？上一次探头进我们房间，确定我们安稳入眠又是何时？上一次，我们一家人坐在一起哈哈大笑，又是何时？你可否知道，我看着你对我们皱眉头的次数比你一天和我们说上的话要多十倍！

我知道，有时凌晨两，三点，我们一个个在做美梦时，你可怜的爬起身子出门去了，有时忙得就连买药医身子的时间都没有。可是爸爸，陪家人是一件多么快乐的事。如果能让你陪我们一天，我愿意永远不再和朋友出门。只要一天，属于我们一家人的一天。

爸爸，如果你那么讨厌我们，请老实得说。请不要不耐烦的和我说话。常常为了引起你们的注意又或是要你和妈妈和解，我想过离家出走。很笨，我知道，但别无选择。我已经不认识眼前这个人了，我只会向他伸手拿钱。但我不想这样。只要你能给我一个微笑，我都可以飞上天了。你从工作带回来的伤疤，虽然我看似不在乎，但我都有看在眼里。

我知道你永远都抽不出几分钟给我，不管是你没时间还是你不想，我无所谓。所以我只好在这里，记下我想对你说的话，写下这个“发不出去的信”。

爸爸，不要每天板着一张脸。不要每天说我只会向你讨钱，因为你，我们的关系才会搞到如此无话可说的地步，钱，是唯一能让我有机会在一天内和你说上那可怜的一句话，至少我比姐姐们说多过一句话。

你说的那些“花样，是每一个家庭用来维系他们每一个人之间的感情。没有这些花样，你认为他们快乐吗？

我真的不是要控制你到哪里去，我只是没有那份安全感了。只是想你能让我安心。我们也没有给你任何脸色看，你误解太深。只是这些脸色背后，藏着多少我们对你的思念，想和你说话的欲望，还参杂了一些些怨恨。所以，我们的沟通上面，常常有摩擦，因为我们的心中都长了根刺，说出来的话，句句伤人。

大家要我死心，别再浪费时间对牛弹琴，可是，我知道你对我们还有那一丝丝的爱。我不想以后变成无法挽回的地步，走在路上，我们装着互不认识。这是悲哀的。你可能觉得女儿没用，可是，我拼了命就是要证明给你看我能养活你。

爸爸，我对你的爱，难道看不出来吗？希望你能回到当时我生病入院时，那为了让我住院和我约定要戒掉那几十年都戒不掉的烟瘾的父亲。那是我最崇拜的父亲。

爸爸，你还在吗？还是这会是永远埋在我心里的一个痛。
我多想牵你和妈妈的手，一起陪你们走完你们未来的旅程。记得，你不是一个人的。

2009-12-27T01:02:00.003+08:00

Santa is gone... Confucius is coming... School is starting again. Boring~

I am still procrastinating with my work even though I only have 1 more day before school starts.

This is all because of my husbands's attractiveness. Yeah~

2009-12-26T01:25:00.002+08:00

Shopping with Omma, Unnies and Zhi Xian was fun! =) Bought many clothes, and I am Super Happy!

On the other hand, HK, I lost my faith in you ? You never kept your promise. How are the others going to continue without you ? You left a hole there, it can never be mended. Chebal, chebal, hajima. Don't let the tragedy happen again.

2009-12-24T02:18:00.002+08:00

Went to watch The Treasure Hunter (Ci Ling) by Jay and Lin Chih-Ling on Tuesday. Woah, Lin Chih-Ling is pretty and Jay looks so funny in the movie. Actually we have had the chance to see them, but we were too lazy and irritated to squeeze with the crowd so we missed out the opportunity. Anway, we wanted to see the Taiwan's Top Model only, see how pretty can she be. Forget it, this shows that we have got no fate. By the way, Mr. Lee went back to Seoul!

SM, I am really disappointed in the way you treat them, they are just bunch of kids. OMG, this is abusive. Go ahead, quit and sue the company, I WILL STAND BY YOU.

Spent today's evening at ECP with Aizsa and gang to re-celebrate Jane's birthday. Thanks guys for the presents, pizzas, drinks and cake. =) Also, the fire-sticks thingy.

I want my beanies.

2009-12-22T17:00:00.000+08:00

叮噹- 我愛他
歌词/Lyrics:
他的镜框留在某一节车厢
地下铁里的风比回忆还重
整座城市一直等着我有一段感情还在漂泊
对他唯一(如果还有)遗憾是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来
若那一刻重来我不哭让他知道我可以很好
我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏都不肯醒来我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望我的心深深伤过却不会忘我和他
不再属于这个地方最初的天堂最重的荒唐
如果还有遗憾又怎么样呢伤了痛了懂了就能好了吗曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘逃不开爱越深越互相伤害越深的依赖越多的空白该怎么去爱我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来情节有多坏都不肯醒来我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望我的心深深伤过却不会忘我和他不再属于这个地方最初的天堂最重的荒唐
如果还有遗憾又怎么样呢伤了痛了懂了就能好了吗我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来
若那一刻重来我不哭让他知道我可以很好

2009-12-22T12:37:00.002+08:00

13 TOGETHER AS 1

HK hajima.. I don't like this decision. Jinjia Bichi. I will hate you.

2009-12-21T22:25:00.001+08:00

You... traitor... Babo.

2009-12-21T22:23:00.001+08:00

Anigolya...

Call heaven to witness my fear... This ain't the truth. You can't leave the rest just like this.

2009-12-21T11:17:00.002+08:00

Saturday was spent doing factory-like chores at I-Guides with Yk,Sy,Yt and Shirley. We were like robots packing stuffs for the open house. It was quite tiring, that it turned out my back became sore the following morning. Then met up with Yt and Shirley again after taking a bath to go Jane's Christmas Party. Wow, her grandma's house is really big. Played a game like passing a ball around, and if it stops on you, you have to do some forfeit. Oh gosh, can't believe how unlucky I was. I did one dance with Jane's brother and another Sorry Sorry dance. -.- Nevertheless, it was fun. Thanks Charissa and Jane for my present! =)

Went KFC at PP with Jermin and Zx. Then went looking around for Dad's birthday present. Shouldn't have bought that radio for him, he is just damn not grateful, I should have gotten use to it anyway. Then went to airport with Lt, thanks Lt for accompanying me. I can never forget the scene, it's etched in my mind now. However, i am still damn pissed off with myself. WTH, FUCK ME.

2009-12-18T15:33:00.001+08:00

The last chance to meet him... Gone...

Call heaven to witness... My tears...

2009-12-17T15:19:00.002+08:00

Okay, after 2 days of operation on the SEAGATE EXTERNAL PORTABLE DRIVE. I now announce the death verdict of it. It died on 2pm at Thursday 17/12/2009.

I used all sorts of methods but damn it. It's brain dead all the way. I threw it into the freezer. -.- Sounds rather stupid. BYE BYE my phtos and my videos. "Luckily" I still can at least get a low-level formatted drive. I tell you, It's a repaired unit from the SEAGATE FACTORY. WTH.

2009-12-17T03:46:00.003+08:00

Ok, the freezer method is freaking useless. That stupid device still has the clicking sounds. Damn it. I surrender, it's 3.50 am now. Miss 2 days of beauty sleep, I might die of liver failure. I would rather reformat everything now, the worst problem is that it doesn't allow me to reformat. I don't mind losing all my videos, I can re-dl them. But all my photos... Aish...